The Story of.....Every Romantic Who Has Ever Loved


"Once upon a time, there was a wee young lass no more than 3 or 4, 
she was blessed with a happy home, pretty dolls and more, 

but what she yearned for more than anything, 

was for a prince who could make her heart sing 

She daydreamed of a man mounting a white horse, dressed in noble attire, 
who would jump through metaphorical hoops of fire, 
he would kneel down on one knee, gaze into her eyes and say: 
 Marry me?'


Alright okay, stop the eye-rolling, clearly I'm not a poet. But it only seems befitting to write this considering the poetic nature of romance, the topic of today's post.

If you've known me for a long time or even a relatively short time, you would know that I am a romantic. I always have been. That poem was not a work of fiction, it is based on my real life, okay my fantasy life, damn.
As long as I have lived, I have believed that one day, a man in a tuxedo, riding a white horse, amidst green pastures, underneath a starlit sky would propose to me. I had the ring and music planned out too. All this at the age of 4! 

So romanticism has been a driving force in my life. I am a pessimist about a lot of things but love and my career aren't part of them. The career I am confident about because of my Type A, 'never quit until you develop a peptic ulcer' personality. The optimism about my currently non existent love life is based more on pure hope, fed to me by endless romantic comedies. 
Now considering my great love for romance, you must expect that I must have had a colorful love life. Alas, that has not been the case. This Juliet lacks a Romeo, this Elizabeth lacks a Darcy, this Apoorvaa lacks her Prince Charming 

I have, however seen people around me get into relationships. You know how in romcoms, there's always this one sassy best friend who says 'dump his ass!' every time the boyfriend messes up, that is probably me. I guess the root cause of my singledom has been my high expectations. But I do not grudge this. Paradoxically, my high ideals have made me more pragmatic about love and its pitfalls. 

Here's the problem with today's relationships: it isn't a lack of love, its a lack of respect. And when I say respect, I mean respecting your partner as an individual, respecting their hopes and their ambitions. Not the overdone attitude of "oh I respect my girlfriend because she is someone's sister or daughter" or "Oh, I respect my boyfriend because my life revolves around the strong masculine protectors in my life." (if you're one of these weirdos, please return to the 21st century ASAP) 

When I finally get into a relationship, I definitely want to be pampered and treated like a princess, all girls secretly do. But I'd gladly forego that, if my partner thinks of me as his equal, and admires my ambition, my passion, my drive. When I date, I don't want the guy to just say "oh she's so beautiful." I want him to say that "She is smart and witty and says the most unexpected things." Well okay, he can add the beautiful thing too, I am only human.

We girls go for the bad boy because it makes us feel adventurous and benevolent at the same time, its like the constant attitude of "oh he's so fun" but. also "oh I can fix him!". 

I can already imagine dudes nodding their head and going like "Yeah...give us nice guys some credit". But here's the thing, nice dudes. Just as overconfidence is a turn off so is under-confidence. You cant expect to be friends with a girl, whine to her about your problems and listen to her whine about hers and then feel entitled to her after some time. If you like her, make a move. If she says no. Move on. Simple. Don't keep on yapping about the friend zone. 



Romance in the media makes us believe that huge romantic gestures can solve everything and until recently, I believed that myself. I sighed wistfully seeing the hero chase the heroine through the airport (although lets get real, if that happened in actuality, the guy'd get shot) and I clapped gleefully, when Colin Firth proposed to the love of his life in poorly spoken Portuguese in Love Actually. 


Be still, my beating heart!

But what these movies fail to tell us is what happens after happily ever after. I think my biggest hesitation is entering a relationship with all these expectations and having them shatter when reality kicks in. Reality is a poor substitute for what the imagination can craft, as my father keeps reminding me (although he just wants me to stay away from boys so I really shouldn't be taking love advice from him!) 

So here's the lesson, to all the romantics out there. And I know what you're thinking. Why should we listen to a girl who's never been in a relationship herself? What does she know? Well there's a reason why the single best friend gives the best advice, her brain isn't riddled with oxytocin and the flighty giddiness that envelops the minds of young fools in love. So listen good, you romantic old saps. 

It is good to love love. I do, and I always will love love and romance in its many forms. I am never going to be the girl who'd be happy with subtlety, romantic gestures are always going to warm my otherwise cold dead heart (I guess you can say subtle-tea is not my cup of tea hehe...okay I'll stop.) And a part of me still waits for her prince in the suit atop the white horse. And I know he's out there somewhere. He's probably in his room, procrastinating. I love him already. 

BUT and here's the big but, if your prince/princess expects you to forego your uniqueness, your individuality and your ambition for the sake of your relationship? Check again because he/she may just be a frog in disguise. 







Comments

  1. "... young fools in love." *OUCH* The bitter truth 😂
    I love love love this post ! It speaks to me on a whole new level ! So many moments in here that made me ACTUALLY laugh out loud.
    But the message you put forth is just so IMPORTANT ! I'm a fan ;)
    P.S: my mom wants to read these... It's time you start translating your work into Hindi 😂

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    Replies
    1. Haha, thank you Rihana <3 Your comments are always a joy to read, will employ Google Translate to the task at once xD

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