The Story of.....the Introvert-Extrovert Fallacy

You see her sitting in all her mysterious glory and wonder what secrets lie in that head of hers, why is she so quiet? Has she got beaten down? Worn out by the world's cruel ways? Does she fear that her voice won't matter?

Okay slow down there dear Romeo, let's place your Juliet in another scene, surrounded by her best friends.

You now see her in a peal of laughter, her chirpy voice dominating the conversation. She is vivid, bubbly and exciting, almost like an open book. What happened to the mysterious introvert you had seen? How in the world did she get transformed into this chatty Kathy who doesn't let anyone get a word in edgewise?

Alright settle down, I'm here to break down the fallacy of the introvert-extrovert criteria that has been used to categorize the world's population since the advent of personality psychology.

There is no such thing as a true introvert or a true extrovert. That introverted dude who caught your eye because he's such a good listener? Yeah, he's probably carrying out a very stimulating conversation in his head while you prattle on. That extroverted girl you envy who is always the centre of attention? She can't wait to get home to catch her favorite TV show, far away from these annoying people.

Also can we just take a minute to observe how the extrovert is always seen as frivolous and ditsy and the introvert is seen as some sort of quiet genius in the making?

Oh come on you say, I am an introvert and I DO love listening to people or perhaps you'll state the opposite, claiming to be an extrovert and befriending anyone lucky enough to come your way. 

In which case, I'll ask you if that is true in all cases and if you can honestly tell me you ALWAYS fit into the neat distinctions of an introvert or extrovert. Haven't you ever felt like you're not what you are always perceived to be?

And you'll fumble and not be able to look me in the eye and then you''ll look up in a flash of recognition of my genius and realize I was right all along. And if you're a hot guy, you'd immediately ask for my number and we'd probably seize each other in a flash of passion. 

But I digress. 

I am not completely against classifying people as introverts and extroverts.It is true that some of us are more socially outgoing and some of us more socially withdrawn. 

For a long time, I thought of myself as the Juliet mentioned earlier. An extrovert, who just so happened to keep her introversion as a front. I was ashamed of this introversion of mine and vehemently denied being an introvert when being teased about it by my family.

"Ask my friends, they''ll tell you how I can't shut up! I am not some antisocial weirdo, I'm selectively social"  I would say, in a fit of rage (I am a very angry tiny person, I'll get more into that later. It is debilitating really)

But now I realize that my introversion is a gift. See, during my extroverted moods, I barely pay attention to my surroundings or the people around me. But during my antisocial moods, I am a good listener and often give sound advice (or so I think, everybody nods like they think I'm saying something smart or maybe they just want me to shut up). And it is during my introverted moods, I come up with my most creative works, having increased time to dwell over the many thoughts that pop into my brain.

But don't worry extroverts! You guys are cool too! A lot of my best friends have extroverted qualities and they're the life of the party. You want someone with whom you can do something fun and impulsive without the crippling embarrassment that accompanies the shamed deed? Then extroverts are your go-to people. I feel most alive when I'm my most extroverted self. It is this extroversion that helps me be spontaneous without missing a beat.

At the end of the day, don't fret too much about being an introvert or an extrovert. We all get shy and nervous and we all have times when we burble too much and wish we hadn't said anything. Embrace your personality and don't try to fit in a mould. 

Readers, I believe in you! Now go forth, and chat up that mysterious young lass. You might be surprised to hear the stories she has to tell!